Seven Things Men Do That Drive Women Nuts

Relationships are all about give and take, right? Ok, so read the linked article, then...

1. Leave the bloody toilet seat how you found it.
   If it is down, as in a woman's flat, leave it down.
   But if it up, put it down to use it then put it back up when you've finished. How hard is that? Anyone would thing that women reverse knickerless and blindfolded into the bathroom, the fuss they make about seats being left down.
   Look at it this way. If a woman sits on the bare china, she gets a cold arse (no woman I've ever met and no toilet I've ever used have the kind of size relationship that would lead to her falling in, getting wet, stuck, etc.). But if a man pees while the seat is still down, he gets wet shins (and carpet). Which is worse?
   
2. Dust will not kill you; human immune systems are dapted to cope with dirt. But not being able to find the first aid kit where you left it because the lady of the house left it in the spare room when she grazed her knuckles in a dusting frenzy might. Tidy trumps clean, though clean and tidy is even better.
   
3. Be emotionally continent.
   Not uptight or emotionless. Just know that when and how you emote is as important as what you express. Recognise that men need to structure their emotions in some way - a heavy, state-of-the-relationship conversation is best carried out in daylight while both parties are sober.
4. If you don't want us to call you/go out with you/stay married to you, or you want us to call, go out or get married, say so, as directly as possible. We do not know what you are thinking and are fairly linear creatures who set some store by the idea of cause and effect. We carry on in a particular direction, or emotional state, until we get new information that changes it. If you haven't made it so obvious that you want us to call, kiss you just there, ask you to marry us, move out or take out the rubbish that a blind and deaf person sixty miles away would think it obvious, you could always try directly asking us. You know, just for variety to the usual female state of being positive and dynamic in every aspect of life except your relationships with men, where you turn to demanding jelly. Jelly, in that you lose all powers of decision making, and demanding, in which all creativity and entertainment  has to be generated by the man and has to be primarily for your benefit.
   
5. Don't try to change us
   We don't want you to tell us how to dress, walk, stand, sit, breathe, eat, or groom ourselves. What we DO want you to do is inspire us to change ourselves. Anything else is just nagging.
6. Put together an original night out yourself occasionally. Men are living breathing sentient creatures who have their own sense of self worth, and if you make us do all the chasing around for your entertainment like some performing animal, we will eventually come to resent you for it. 
7. Don't "try us out" for a matter of months, then ditch us because we aren't what you want. Either stick with it longer, or don't sleep with us in the first place. We will sleep with you whenever we get the chance, but generally speaking we won't do that unless we want to be with you more generally. It's critically important to factor alcohol or drugs out of this, for both yourself and us. If we call you back when we're sober, we have already decided it could become serious. We will be very hurt if you play along to see if you feel more for us in future then decide after however long that you don't and that we arn't "the one". Men are not looking for "the one", or at least not the same definition of "the one" as you are. Usually, it's straightforwardly "the one I want to be with for the foreseeable future". "Forever" is not a useful concept.
8. *Bonus* Do not form educational strategy without men in the room. It's doing great things for girls, certainly, but it's killing the life and career chances of boys. Boys NEED competition, and pressure, and all-or-nothing exams and tests, and they need a few male teachers to let them know all of that is ok. Too many women teachers try to stop this, fearing it as something both beyond their understanding and beyond their control. Tru dat - the adrenaline rush you get from mucking about all year and not looking at any books until the week before the exam then studying like mad and acing it suit boys (and men) much better than all this constant assessment guff. Teenage boys do not have long enough attention spans for coursework.